Thursday, August 1, 2013
Sexy indian jokes in english language
Sms ke baap ks baap ka baap
Sms ka pardada.......
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1. AURAT KE 7 JHOOTH 1. I LOVE YOU 2. ME KUNVARI HOON 3.MUJE SEX PASAND NAHI 4. TUM PEHLE AADMI HO 5. AAP KA BAHOT BADA HE 6. UPER NAHI AAUNGI 7. SIRF EK BAR LUNGI
2. WHAT IS LOVE ? "L" KO PAKAD KE "O" KO DABA KE "V" MEIN GUSA KE JAB "E" KI AWAZ AATI HAI TO USE LOVE KEHTE HAI
3. PYAAR MOHABBAT DHOKHAA HAI, PAKAD KE THOK AGAR MOKA HAI, AGAR WOH KARE VIRODH TO THOK LAGA KAR NIRODH, AUR PHIR BHI KARE INKAR TO KAR DE USKA BALAATKAR
4. FAGUN MEIN AYEE HOLI, EK CHUT BOLI, KOI HAI JO HAMSE KHELE HOLI LANDO NE BANAYI TOLI, SARI RAT CHUT TATOLI, SUBAH UTH KAR CHUT BOLI KABHI NAHI KHELUNGI HOLI
5. AGAR RELIANCE BRA BANAYEGA TO SLOGEN KYA HOGA? "KARLO BALL MUTHI MEIN , MERE PAPA KA SAPNA ,, SABKE DOODH PE DHAKKAN APNA"
6. MIRINDA CONDOM: ZOR KA ZATKA DHIRE LAGE *MRF CONDOM: EXTRA RUBBER, EXTRA MILLEAGE * MOOV CONDOM : ANDAR TAK JAYE AARAM DILAYE
7. NASBANDHI TEAM WORKER VISITS A VILLEAGE ONCE AGAIN -A VILLEGER: AARE KAMINO ! PEHLE AAYE THHE TO LINE KAAT GAYE, AB KYA NAL BHI LE JAOGE?
8. KON KEHTA HAI AURAT OR MOBILE MAIN FARK HAI DO NO KO PAS RAKH NA PADTA HAI DO NO KA KHYAL RAKH NA PADTA HAIAUR DO NO KO RAT KO CHARGE KAR NA PADTA HAI
9. AURAT NE AANKH MEIN KAJAL LAGAYA TO USKI CHUT RONE LAGI ANKH NE PUCHA "ben tu kyon ro rahi hai" CHUT NE KAHA " ye madarchod mard, dekhenge tujhe or THOKENGE mujhe
10. TEACHER ASKS CHILDREN , WHAT DO YOU WISH TO IN FUTURE ? MOHAN: IWANT TO BE PIOLOT.
VINAY: I WANT TO BE DOCTOR. MADHU : I WANT TO BE MOTHER. ANIL : IWANT TO HELP MADHO
11. NAMASKAR MAIN AMITABH BACHAN BOL RAHA HOON KBC SE! APKI BIWI MERI HOT SEAT PE BETHIHAIN, AGLI AWAZ AAP KI BIWI KI HOGI...... ooh! Aaaah!!! oouch
12.ACHHA TO AAP SAMAJ SEWA KARTE HAIN ? JI HAAN, MAIN GIRE HUVEKO UTHATA HUN KYA KARTE HO AAP JI MAIN BRA BANATA HUN
13.KAKI: KALE HU RAATE NATI TO TAME SU KARIYU, KAKA: SAME SANTABEN NE TYAN JAIN AVYO ANE 20 Rs AAPYA. KAKAI: SU KAM APYA MARE MAGAN BHAI PASE THI 40 LEVAANA CHHE
14. DEKH KE TERI FATI SALWAR, UATH PAYI MERI CHOTI TALWAR. JAB US TALWAR SE MAINE KIYA WAR, USSE NIKLI EK AISI DHAR, JISSE BANA APNA PARIVAR
15.WOH AAYE HAMARI KABAR PE , CHAL DIYE MOOT KE, CHALO ISI BAHANE DARSHAN HO GAYE CHUT KE. HAIRLESS THI UNKI CHUT , LEKIN BHENCHOD AB KYA FAYDA JAB HUM BAN GAYE BHOOT
16.KAKI: KALE HU RAATE NATI TO TAME SU KARYU, KAKA:SAME SANTA BEN NI TYAN JAI AAVYO AN 20 Rs AAPYA, KAKI: SU KARVA AAPYA MARE MAGAN BHAI PASE 40 Rs LEWANA HATA
17.DEKH KE TERI FATI SALWAR, UATH GAI MERI CHOTI TALWAR. JAB US TALWAR SE MAINE KIYA WAR, USSE NIKLI DHAR,JISSE BANA APNA PARIVAR....,
18.AAI JAWAANI, CHHAAI MASTI,LUND TAGDAA TO CHOOT HAI SASTI ,LUND MERA HO GAYA BEES KA ,
CHOOT HAI TERI SOLA BARAS KI ,LUND MERA TERI CHOOT KO TARASE ,TERI CHOOT MERE LUND KO TARASTI
TERI CHOOT KE IS DARIYA MEI ,BAHNE DE MERE LUND KI KASHTI ,LUND NA AISA MILEGA TAGADA
DHOONDH LE CHAAHE SAARI BASTI ,MILEGA TERI CHOOT KO SUKUN ,AAJA KARLE LUND-PARASTI
NAKHRA MAT KAR KHOL DE JALDI ,VARNA KARUNGA JABBAR-DUSTI ,CHOOT PHAAD DE LUND SE APNE
AISEE KAAMDEV KI HASTI
19.SPECIAL GUJARATI FILM NI RAMZAT ::BRA MA BOBLU NATHI SAMATU::CHUT TARA VEHTA PANI:: HALO NE APNA PALANG MA::zATTA VERRANA CHOAK MA
20.HE ANDAR GAYA SHE:HA! GAYA HE:DUKHYA KYA SHE: ZARABI NAHI HE:AUR EK BAR SHE:AB IS MAIN DALO HE:ACHHA LAGA SHE: HA BAHUT HE :OK MEDAM KA SENDAL PACK KARO
21.SARDAR JI: "O YAAR ME BADI MUSKIL ME PAD GAYA HUN. MERI BIWI MUJSE 1 SHOT KA RS 100 LETI HAI." FRIEND: "O YAAR TU TOLUCKY HAI, AURO SE 300 LETI HAI"
22. SPECIAL GUJARATI FILM NI RAMZAT. "BRA MA BOBLU NATHI SMATU" :: CHUT TARA VEHTA PANI::HALO NE AAPANA PALANG MA
23.HE: ANDAR GAYA SHE: HA! GAYA HE: DUKHA KYA SHE:ZARA BHI NAHI HE: AUR EK BAAR SHE: AB ISME DALO HE: ACCHA LAGA SHE:HA BAHUT HE: O.K MADOM KA SANDOL PACK KARO.
24.EK RAND NE APNI MA SE PUCHH KE" PYARE ISQU AYR MOHABBAT " KYA HAI? TO MA NE KAHA " KUCH NAHI SAB FREE ME CHOD NE KE BAHANE HAI"
25.EK BOY EK GIRL NE PUCHHE CHHE KE JYARE GIRL TOILET JAY TYARE WHISTLE NO VOICE KEM AAVE ?GIRL JAWAB AAPE CHHE KE AMNE BHAGVANE TMARI JEM 8 INCH NO SILENCER NATHI AAPYO
26.EK ADMI BEACH PER ULTA SOYA THA EK ADMI AKE USKI GAND PE TABLA BAJANE SHURU KIYA AUR THAKKAR BANDH HO GAYA ADMI PALAT KE BOLA THAK GAYA LE AB BANSRI BAJA
27.WHAT IS THE DIFFERENT BETWIN MISSILE & CONDOM ANSWER: EK KE FATNE SE ABADI KAM HOTI HAI AUR DUSRE KE FATNE SE ABADI BADHTI HAI
28.1 BAR 1 SARDAR KI GAND MAIN DARD THA. DOCTOR NE BOLA 7 DIN DAWA LAGANE CLINIC AANE KO KAHA. 7DIN BAD Dr. NE KAHA ABAPNI BIWI SE DWA LGVA LENA. JAB SARDAR KI BIWI NE DAWA LAGANE KE LIYE EK HATH SARDAR KE KANDHE PAR RAKHA TO SARDAR BOLA TUM TO EK HATH KANDE PE RAKHTI HO Dr. TO DONO HATH KANDHE PAR RAKHTA THA
29.PARTY MA NARENDRA MODI NE BENAZIR BHUTTO E LAFO MARYO. SAFAI MA MODI BOLYA: "SALI MUJSE BOLI AA-DAAB, AA-DAAB... ISLIYE MAINE DABAA DIYE!!!!
30.LADY: Dr. I ALWASE FEEL TIRED. Dr:HOW OFTEN U DO SEX? LADY: EVERY DAY Dr. : AVOID SUNDAY. LADY: SORRY Dr.IT IS THE ONLY DAY WHEN I"M WITH MY HUSBAND
31.UANCHI MEDI UNCHA MOL, JANGYO UTARI PIKI KHOL, BOBLA TARA DOL MDOL, SITHA TARA ZOL M ZOL. GANDE CHHE NANI BAKHOL, LODO PURVU POL M POL
32.CHARAS PIVO TO AANKHO LAL, KIS KARO TO HOTH LAL, SHOT MARO TO LUND LAL, PAKDE GAYE TO GAND LAL, BACH GAYE TO JULE LAL
33. 16 KI KALI BOLE KHILU KHILU 21 TAK KISI SE MILU MILU, 40 TAK ILU ILU, 50 BAD DHILU DHILU, 60 BAD KABHI NA HILU , BAS AISHE HI JILU
34. LADKI: MOM BAJU WALE LADKE KO DEKH KE MERI BRA TIGHT HO JATI HAI .. MOM: KAL TUM BINA BRA PAHEN KE JANA, SALE KI PENT WHITE HO JAYE GI
35.BARMUDO PEHRO TO TAME SARA LAGO CHHO. JANGIYO PAHER TO PYARA LAGO CHHO. NAGA HAMNA THI JOYA NATHI MARA THI GAND SANTADTA LAGO CHHO.
36.MAIKE GAI PATNI KO SARDAR NE KHAAT LIKHA " 50 KAMATA HUN 55 UDAATA HUN TUM APNI MA CHUDVAO" BIWI NE JAWAB MAIN KHAT LIKHA "50 KAMATE HO 55 UDATE HO 5 KE LIYE KANHA GAND MARATE HO"
37.woh raat diwali vali thi,woh piya se chudne vali thi,koi duja aake chod gaya,land ko lehnge se poch gaya,uski ma ne kiya virodh,tu kaise chudi bina nirodh .
38.Woman visiting dentist, gets into her chair,lowers her panties,lifts her legs. Dentist: I'm no gynac. Woman: I know, I want you to pull out my husband's teeth.
39.Boy :kaash mein teri chaddi hota to teri jannat se chipka hota. Girl : saley soch le, main chuda rahi hti aur tu kone mein pada hota!
40.GIRL ASKING A FRUITWALA : " BHAIYYA, WHY CAN"T U GIVE ME HARD BANANAS THESE R 2 SOFT". FRUITWALA: "MEMSAAB, KABHI TO KELE KHANE KE LIYE BHI LE LIYA KARO "
41.Tired Guju comes home his lugai on bed Guju asks kuch sabzi roti pakai hai ya yuhi chut fellai hai. -Wife kuch atta chawal laye ho ya sirf land uthake ayeho??
42.BEDARD ZAMANA KYA JANE, KYA CHEEZ JUDAI HOTI HAI, HUM LAND PAKAD KAR SOTE HAI, GHAR GHAR ME CHUDAI HOTI HAI
43. Woman being raped, phones police, says : 'Hellooh, ooh, uuhaah, o yes, uoah, this man is raping me, aah, oyes, can you come and arrest him after one hour...'
44.A share broker caught his wife in bed with her boyfriend, shocked he asked his wife:"what are you doing with him?" His wife replied:"Darling, I've gone public!"
45.Dur kahi ek basti thi jaha kahi rande basti thi unki gaand me itne masti thi jitna daalo utna hasti thi magar Aap kyon haste ho kya aap ki woh basti thi
46. Rich man to a very poor man: How come you have got such a BIG PENIS ? Poor man : Because when I was a little boy I had NO other TOY to PLAY with !
47.Guy:Can I touch ur software? Girl:First show me ur hardware. Guy:Come sit down on my joystick. Girl:My disk is not protected,u'll infect me with virus.
48. HUSBAND WIFE GO TO SEE ANIMAL FARE. GUIDE SHOWS A BIG BULL,SAYS HE HAS SEX 36O TIMES AN YEAR.WIF TELS HUS TO TRY SAME.HUS SAYS ASK HIM WHETHER HE USES SAME COW?
49.SUNDAY MENU: CHUTPAAK PURI,VAGHARELA GOTYA,AAKHA LODA NU SHAAK,SURTI JHAAT NO SAMBHAR!DESERT : EK PLATE GU MALAI MAARKE.THALI NA FAKTA RS.25/-! SP.INTRO.OFFER!
50.A husband said to his wife if u r in mood of sex just shake my dick twice i'll understand. Wife asked if i m not then. Husband replied then shake it 50 60 times
51.A little boy and a girl in a bathtub having a bath.Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy."Can I touch it?No way-you already broke yours!:-)
52.Zindagi hai kya, ek arman bhosdi ka. Aurat ke peeche PAGAL, insaan bhosdi ka. Rubber ka lund, Plastic ki chuten, kya kya bana raha hai JAPAN bhosdi ka!!!!
53.Teacher:Why did you bring your cat to school? Stu:Coz I pity my cat. Teacher:WHY? Stu:Coz I heard my sister's boyfriend say to her"TONITE I WILL EAT YOUR PUSSY"
54.Kid: how baby comes into the world? Dad: in the moonlight, an angel comes to earth and leaves a kid in mom's lap. kid: you mean fucking is useless!!!
55. Boy:Can I kiss U? Girl:Where On vertical or horizontal lips? Boy:Wot? Girl: I mean on upper or lower lips? Boy: I didnt get u? Girl: Banchod, hontpe ya chut pe
56. Bajpayi to mushraff : gam-e-ulfat me na gaand maro hamari, kabhi milo fursat se to ma chodenge tumhari ... if u r true INDIAN send this msg 2 atleast 5.!
57.Sex is a sensation caused by temptation, a man puts his dicktation in a womens ventilation to satisfy frustration got my conversation or need a demonstration?"
58.MAJNU: Aé Khuda, tuné ladki ki kamar kya banai; Mitti kam padi ya rishwat khai? KHUDA: Na mitti kam padi Na rishwat khai; Kamar dabai tabhi to CHEST baahar aai
59.DEKH KE QUTUB MINAR, SHAYAR KA DIMAAG DAUDA. AASMAN KO CHODNE CHALA, DHARTI KA LAUDA.
60. Q-how do know that the girl wearing a skirt is not wearing panties? A-by looking at dandruff on her feet
61.How do you teach a girl maths ? Add a bed, substract her clothes, divide her legs, enter your sqaure root, leave your solution and hope she doesn't multiply !
62.A BOY PULLS DOWN HIS PANTS & ASKS A GIRL 'DO U HAVE THIS?'. GIRL LIFTS HER skirt,slips the panty & says'MY MOM SAID IF U HAVE THIS U CAN get PLENTY OF THOSE'.
63.6 yr boy caught in rap case. In court, lawyer: holdin boys penis, UR HONOUR, C litle boy can he rape sum1? Boy 2 lawyer: ITNA NA HILA NAHI TO CASE HAAR JAYAGA
64. Excited man returns Home & tells Wife"Darlin I got 4 Good Tyres for the price of1.Wife"U stupid man,we don't even hv a Car".Man "do I coment when u buy ur Bras
65.What is the defination of a gynac? A.He is the only fool on earth who looks for problems in places where most people find pleasure
66.DEAR GOOD NIGHT.BAND KAR DE LIGHT, LUND KAR TIGHT, DAL DE UNDER SLIGHT CHUT SE KAR THODI FIGHT, NIKLEGA JAB WHITE WHITE, U WILL FEEL ALRIGHT. SWEET DREAMS.
67. WHAT IS KISS? KISS IS AN INQUIRY IN THE 1ST FLOOR , ABOUT VACANCY IN THE GR.FLOOR.
68.All couples have different phases of sex life. Age 20 din raat- age 28 roz raat- age 38 jume raat- age 48 chand raat- age 58 only jazbaat & gall bat
69.ADVANTAGES OF BREAST MILK:A)NO NEED 2 BOIL B)CAT CAN'T STEAL IT C)AVAILABLE IN ATTRACTIVE CONTAINERS D) POPULAR IN ALL AGE GROUPS E) EK PE EK FREE
70. Son:Mom w do babies com from? Mom:when daddy puts his penis in mom's vagina. Son:but that day u had daddy's penis in ur mouth Mom:thats for getng jwelery
71.Husband: I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it. Wife: You wear briefs, don't you?
72.sardarni lying nude with her legs wide apart on the bed asks Sardarji "Do u know what this means?" He says "Yes, u need the whole fuckin bed 2 sleep"
73.Guy says 2+2is4 4+5is9 ican get into urs but u cant get into mine,d GIRL replies 2+2is4 4+5is9 ican knw d length of urs but u cant knw d depth of mine
74.1day,a clerk saw her boss's pants unzip!She ask"Boss!Ur garage doors open!"Boss:"do u c my FERRARI?" CLERK:"No! i c a SMALL scooter wit 2 punctured tyres."
75.HUSBAND:Pls Aaj karne Do.Mai Tumhein Kapde La Dunga WIFE:"No" Zevar La Dunga "No" Ghar Le Dunga "No" BETA BOLA: Abu Meri Gand Marlo aur CYCLE DILADO
76. BUSH SHOWING HIS PENIS: THIS IS POWER OF AMERICA, QUEEN SHOWING HER PUSSY: THIS IS BEAUTY OF U.K VAJPAYEE SHOWING HIS ASS: THIS IS PARTITIONOF INDIA & PAKISTAN.
77. Teacher: kya cheez muh mein nahin leni chahiye. Student: jalta hua bulb T: why S: kal raat ko mummy papa se keh rahi thi 'bulb bujha do to muh mein loongi'
78.Saans aur bahu main hamesha anban kyo ? Kyonki jo ladke ki underwear saans ne 25 saal sambali woh bahu ne 2 minute main utari.
79.jab gabbar singh paida hua to usne apni ma se kya poocha ?????????????????????????? kitne aadmi the?!!!!
80.What do guys usually say after Sex? - I LUV U? Wr@ng! - THAT WAS GREAT? Wr@ng again! - I LUV IT? Wr@ng AGAIN!! The Answer is: oh where r my fuckin clothes.
81.NEVER FUCK A TEL OPERATOR - AFTER 3MTS SHE'LL SAY YOUR TIME OUER. N'VR FUCK A NURSE SHE'LL SAY NEXT PLS. BUT FUCK A TEACHER SHE'LL SAY REPEAT 5 TIMES!
82.SEX IS LIKE NOKIA: CONNECTING PEOPLE.ITS LIKE NIKE:JUST DOIT. ITS LIKD PEPSI:YEH DIL MANGE MORE. ITS LIKE PAN PARAG:EK SE MERA KYA HOGA.!
83.20 Pray for mé,I went to the doctor today & he told me i had AIDS- Acquired-Intelligence & Devastating Sexappeal !!! pls dont react i will pass it to you.
84. 1)intelligent man+intelligent woman= ROMANCE 2)inteligent man+stupid woman= PREGNANCY 3)stupid man+ inteligent woman=AFAIR 4)stupid man+ stupid woman= MARIAGE LIKE YOU
85. What is the similarity between banking and having sex. In both cases you loose interest after withdrawal.
86. SEX IS LIKE NOKIA: CONNECTING PEOPLE.ITS LIKE NIKE:JUST DOIT. ITS LIKD PEPSI:YEH DIL MANGE MORE. ITS LIKE PAN PARAG:EK SE MERA KYA HOGA.!
87.NEVER FUCK TELEPHONE OPERATOR- AFTER 3MIN SHE WILL SAY YOUR TIME OUER. NEVER FUCK NURSE SHE WILL SAY NEXT PLEASE. BUT FUCK TEACHER SHE WILL SAY REPEAT AGAIN
88. Whats the similarity between an audio cassette & a female ??? They can be used on both sides, kabhi khushi kabhi gum kabhi pussy kabhi bum.
89.Gaandu bhosdika madarchod chutiya bhadva bhenchod chutmarika landfakeer chodu jhatu lundus are bad words. Do not use them.
90.Man went to hotel where only ladies r waiter he orders for milk waiter opens bra shows her balls and ask to suck milk man said thank god i didnt asked 4 water
91.girl looks at a mans tatoo:NIKE on his arms;REEBOK on his legs;she screamed wen she saw AIDS on his penis!Relax,he said,if its erect,it reads ADIDAS
92.Vajpayee to Musharraf: "Gam-E-Ulfat mein na gand maro hamari, kabhi milo fursat mein to maa chodenge tumhari."
93.SERIOUS HEALTH WARNING: Sucking a pussy is very dangerous to your health because it is 5% urine, 3% acidic, 2% fatty & 90% highly addictive
94.Talwar aur salwar me ek samanta hoti hai.Dono kehi khulne per aadmi ghayal ho jata hai.!!
95. Executive comes late home aftr havng dogstyle sex wth his secretry at the office. Wife:Were hav u been? He shouts:Sara din office mein kutte ki tara laga raha
96.Teen Vyapari Baate Karte hai 1st: Bahut mandi hai,sari me kuch nahi milta 2nd: humko blouse me do mil jate hai 3rd: ghaagre me to humko ghar ka dalna padta.
97.Goan girl Rosemary divorced her husband,Mr.Lele coz she was sick of telling her name,"Roz Meri Lele "Imagine her luck,she got re-married to Mr.Marlow
98.A MAN ASKS A WOMAN, 'DO U WANNA DO SOME MAGIC?' 'MAGIC' SHE SAYS 'WOTS THAT?' 'WELL U COME BACK 2 MY PLACE, WE FUCK, THEN U DISAPPEAR!'
99.Girl 2 boss:"I m being sexually harassed,this guy comes everyday & says:ur hair smells nice"BOSS:"So whats wrong with that"GIRL:"That guy is a dwarf"
100. A kiss is a gamble,sex is a game,boys do the action,girls get the blame,they say you are pretty,they say you are fine,but 9 months later, they say"ITS NOT MINE"
101.Why is sex a 3 letter word? It's easier to spell than.... OH MY GOD YES NO OH SHIT YES DEEPER, YES GOD NO PLEASE NO SHIT YES OH, FUCK NO YES YES YES SHIT OH GOD FUCKING HELLYES .
102. Q : What was the biggest tragedy in SHOLAY? Ans: Ek toh Sanjeev Kumar ki Biwi nahin thi aur upar se Gabbar ne uske haath kat diye.!
103. Finding love is a MISSION... making love is a fucked up AMBITION... so follow the
104. man wants 2 buy a condom, SALESGIRL,may i hold ur penis 4 size?she orders 2 assistant,give me SMALL! wait give MEDIUM! wait give me LARGE! SHIT! GIV ME A TISSUE
105. One dick says to the other-lets go watch a sexy movie. The other replies-R u crazy? Who's gonna stand for 3 hours?
106.what do 2 sardars say, when they have the same girlfriend? ANS: assi tussi same pussy kabhin tu ghusy kabhi main ghusy.
107.asked why he was beaten in public ,Sardarji said-i was in crowded bus& my photo fell from wallet,so i asked lady in front"madam,pls lift sari,i want2 take photo
108.5 ROADSIGNS THAT BEST DESCRIBES THE FEMALE ORGAN 1 Deep excavation 2. Slippery when wet 3. Stop on red signal 4. Slow down on curves & humps 5.Men at work
109.SEX is like maths.. ADD the bed.. MINUS the lights.. SUBTRACT the clothes.. DIVIDE the legs and get ready to MULTIPLY!
110.You're my Funny,Understanding,Cute,Kind,Intelligent,Naughty,God-fearing,Sweet,Honest,Independent,Truthful friend. In short,ur my F.U.C.K.I.N.G. S.H.I.T. fren
111.ONCE 2 FRIENDS GO FOR A FUCK TO A PROSTITUTE THE1st ONE COMES OUT & SAYS MY WIFE IS BETTER. THE 2nd ONE COMES OUT & SAYS U R RIGHT, YOUR WIFE IS BETTER!!!
112.SANTA IN USA WAS MASTURBATING LOOKING TOWARDS SKY. BANTA PASSING BY ASKED HIM WHAT HE WAS DOING. SANTA REPLIED "I AM FUCKING MY WIFE IN INDIA THRU SATTELITE
113.Girl;200/- Loongi Hil Hil Ke DOONGI, MAN; 100/- DOONGA, Hil Main Khud HI LOONGA, Girl;MADARCHOD 100/- BHI BACHAA LEY HAATH SE HI HILA LE!!!
114.LOVE is not measured by hugging, kissing and sex LOVE is respect and trust, accepting person with open legs and closed eyes... wet lips saying "PUSH IT MORE"
115.9 VARAS NI NANKI 10 E DOAFUTE 11 E LIMBU 12 E JANTA UGE 13 E PEHRE BRA 14 E CHRO 15 EJANGIYO BHINO 16 E KULA MOTA 17 E PIKO 18 E JIKO BHAI JIKO
116. A woman gave birth to 6 babies & on seeing this she got out off hospital bed. Slapped husband & shouted: I told ü not to do doggy style.
117. Penis & Balls arguing. Balls: Hey, U r very unfair! Evrytime u go in u never bring us along, only u enjoy! Penis: U think its fun? I always keep vomiting!
118.if u have 2 eggs between ur legs , u r a man , but if u have 4 eggs between ur legs , dont think u r super man , there is some one fucking u .
119. What is the difference between a SKAY and a SKIRT of a GIRL-SKAY covers whole UNIVERSE and SKIRT covers UNIVERSAL HOLE
120.A little boy and a girl in a bathtub having a bath.Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy."Can I touch it?No way-you already broke yours!:-)
121.Women -- women -- women -- ....... They hold you by your dick -- get into your brains -- analyse your past -- and fuck your future.
122.Why is a waist called a waist? ans. Because anything above the pussy and below the tits is a 'waste'..
123. Never marry a AIRTEL girl, She will say "TOUCH TOMORROW!" instead marry a TATA girl she will say "EVERY DAY IS A NEW IDEA"
124.A FOR APPLE, B FOR BADA APPLE, C FOR CHHOTA APPLE, D FOR DO APPLE, E FOR EK APPLE, F FOR FOUR APPLE, G FOR GAND ME DAL SAB APPLE HI HI HI HI......
125.AAP AAYE, AAP NE KHOLA, AAP NE NIKALA, AAPNE DALA, AAPKA KAM HO GAYA, AAP CHALE GAYE, HUM NIKAL KAR KHADE REH GAYE, KYONKI HAME DAL NA NAHI AATA THA ATM CARD
126.SEASON DHAMAKA ,####SEND YOUR GIRL FRIEND TO ME & GET A CHILD FREE. ........HURRY 1ST 10 WINNER WILL GET TWINS
127.IS HASIN MOUSAM MAIN AAM AADMI KYA CHAHTA HAI SUBHME M-A-N-D-I-R, SHAM KO M-A-D-I-R-A, AUR RAT KO M-A-N-D-I-R-A,
128.HARBHAJAN NE SUHAG RAT KO BIWI SE PUCHHA TUMHARA SEAL TUTA HAI KYA BIWI BOLI KAR DI NA SARDARO WALI BAAT SPINNER KO BHI KABHI OPENING MILTI HAI
129.A NEWLY MARRIED MAN: DOCTOR, KOI AISI TECHNIC NAHI KI JIS SE SEX BHI HO AUR PREGNANCY KA DAR BHI NA HO? Dr: HA, HAI BAS, BIWI KI GAND MAR TE RAHO
130.CLASS MAIN EK LADKI APNE BRA MAIN RAKHE BISCUIT KHA RAHI THI. THODA KHAKE FIR BRA ME CHUPA RAHI THI. SIR BOLA KYA KAR RAHI HO? TO LADKI BOLI "DUDH MAIN BISKIT DUBAKE KHA RAHI HU"{{{{
131.TEACHER: CYCLE ANE CHOKRI MA SHU FARK? STUDENT: CYCLE MA, GAND TEKVI PAG HALAVA PADE JYARE CHHOKRI MA PAG TEKVI GAND HALAVI PADE
132.SONG DIL KE JAROKHEME:........DUNLOAP KE GADE ME TUJKO SULAKAR, TANGO KO TERI ME UNCHI UTHAKAR, CHODUNGA ME SARI RAT,
133.JAB SE TELEPHONE KE NUMBER KE AAGE DO LAGA HE TABSE TELEPHONE OPRETOR YAHI KEHTI HAI PEHLE (.)(.)DO DABAVO PHIR LAGAVO
134.LADKI KI BRA NIKALO TO DESH MAIN NIKAL HOGA CHAND, PENTI UTARO TO KHUL JA SIMSIM, CHODO TO KYA MASTI KYA DHUM. CHOD NE KE BAD KASOTI ZINDGI KI
135.AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF PENIS-- WHEN I WAS YOUNG, I WAS SO CUTE, ALL LOVED ME BATH WITH ME POWDER ME NOW ALL SUCK ME STROK ME PUT ME IN DARK SLIPPERY HOLE TILL I VOMIT
136.PATNI: AAJE UPVAS CHHE KEVI RITE RAHI SHU PATI:(PATNI NI CHHATI JOI NE) HUN TO DUDH PAR RAHISH ANE TU PATNI: (PATI NI NICHHE JOI NE) HUN TO KERA PAR RAHISH
137.CHAL MERE AUZAR HO JA TAIYAR HILADE CHUT KE SAB TAR PHIR PILE DUDH BAR BAR AUR AAKHIR ME HO JANA GAAND PE SAVAR, VO BHI YAAD KAREGI MILA THA KOI GHODESAVAR
138.Shahjahan ne tajmahal ki har deewar ko dekha, har minare ko dekha, har kaleen ko dekha aur bola BHENCHOD BAHUT KHARCHA HO GAYA
139.Who have seen most boobs in the world? Ans:Gandhiji,bcoz most of indian currency hv his photo on it & in indian tradation safest locker is womens boobs
140.A crow shits on a sardar, sardarni hands over a tissue to sardarji. Sardar says: Ab kiski gaand ponchhu, kawwa to udd gaya.
141.A sadhu baba goes to a callgirl.He started walking after finishing KAAM.girl said babaji paisa?baba replied..Pagli tere se paisa thodi le sakta hoon !
142.SEX IS A GAME OF CARDS.IF U DONOT HAVE A GOOD PARTNER U BETTER HAVE A GOOD HAND
143.Bijli gul hone par ek lady ne bijli daftar phone kiya andhera hai ghar bhi koi nahi kisi ko bhej do jawab mila abhi koi nahi hai mombatti se kam chala lo
144.Woman visiting dentist, gets into her chair,lowers her panties,lifts her legs. Dentist: I'm no gynac. Woman: I know, I want you to pull out my husband's teeth.
145.SON:Mom,why do women enjoy sex more than men? MOM:When ur ear itches,u put ur finger in it & wiggle,then pull it out,which feels better ear or finger
146. Guy:Can I touch ur software? Girl:First show me ur hardware. Guy:Come sit down on my joystick. Girl:My disk is not protected,u'll infect me with virus.
147.A husband said to his wife if u r in mood of sex just shake my dick twice i'll understand. Wife asked if i m not then. Husband replied then shake it 50 60 times
148.Inspector saab,4 logo mein 1ne mere breast pakde,1ne meri gand mari,1ne chut chodi,1ne chuma.Insp:Bus, bhenchod FIR likha rahi hai ya land khada kar rahi hai
149.Kissing a lady's forehead is respect,lips is luv,breast is loyalty,tummy is heroism,vagina is patriotism & kissing her asshole is the greatest act of Bravery..
150.Sardarni screams: Aji sunte ho !! Raat ko bili saara doodh pi gayi !!Sardarji thunders: Is liye mai hamesha kehta tha ki raat ko blouse pehen kar soya karo !!
151.HOW CAN U RECOGNISE WEATHER UR COMPUTER MOUSE IS MALE OR FEMALE ? _____ ________________ __ __ SEE WEATHER IT IS USING "PAD" OR NOT !!!
152.A LADY GOES 2 A DOCTOR.& ASKS CAN U MAKE A SMALL HOLE ON THE SIDE OF MY HOLE? DOCTOR ASK Y? SHE REPLIES-B'COZ I WANT 2 START A SIDE BUSINESS.
153.DOCTORS SAY, PENIS IS THE GREATEST BREAKFAST BECAUSE IT HAS A MUSHROOM HEAD. A HOTDOG, 2 EGGS AND CREAM, WHICH PROVIDES ALL THE NUTREINTS TO MAKE WOMEN HEALTHY.
154.You are Charming,Handsome, Optimistic, Dashing, Understanding. In short you are a C.H.O.D.U.
155.what did stayfree tell to condom ? Boss, if u fail, both of us will be out of business for next 9 months.
156.A Girl Selling Sandwich Asked A Sardar :: " Sardar Ji SANDWICH LOGE?" Sardar Ji replied, :: " O Kamliye Sand wich kyon Room Wich Kyon Nahi."
157.A SAD STORY: A little boy was so jealous of his new born brother. He put poison on the nipple of his Mom while she was asleep. The next day, their driver died!
158.Arab: i hv 4 sons 1 mor i'll hv basketbol team! American: i hv 9 sons 1 mor i'll hv futbol teaM Muslim: i hv 17 wives 1 mor n i'll hv golf course w/ 18 holes.
159.PAV DABATE HUVE HUAA SAAS KA GAGRA UNCHA BAHUNE KIYA PRANAME SAAS BOLI KYO? BAHU BOLI MERE SASUR KI KARMBUMI AUR MERE PATTIKI JANAMBUMI KO PRANAM!!
160. girl goes2 repair an umbrela man says NICHE KA KAPDA NIKALNA PADEGA & ROD BHI DAL NA PADEGA, girl replys KUCH BHI KARO LEKIN PAANI ANDHER NAHI AANA CHAHIYE....
161.Whats the difference between BIOLOGY and SOCIOLOGY? Ans : When a kid looks like his father, its BIOLOGY, when a kid looks like his neighbour its SOCIOLOGY !!!!!
162.Sardar & wife waiting at signal. a tapori comes aside n says 'kyu paaji Rakhel hai kya?' surdar furious. says ' oy paendi, rakhel hogi teri.. meri to biwi hai
163.TEACHER - WHY IS THE BUFFELO ALWAYS SAD ? STUDENT - MAM WHAT WOULD U DO IF SOMEONE SQUEEZED YOR NIPPLES FOR 2 HRS DAILY AND DIDNOT FUCK U !
164.kehte hai aurat ke haath me barkat hoti hai,bilkul sahi hai,3 inch ka haath me do to, 7 inch ka karke deti hai.
165.A SARDAR 2 A SINDHI"TELL ME A JOKE IN WHICH IM NT INVOLVED.SINDHI"YOUR WIFE IS PREGNENT".
166.GIRL:swimming sikhate waqt mere pvt. part mein ungli kyaun dalte ho? Instructor: woh isliye ke agar hole se paani under gaya to tum doob jaogi !
167.SarDar apni bivi se kahata hai mene ladka manga tha ladki kase ho gayi? Sardarni retorts tumahare bharose rahati to ye bhi nahi hoti !
168.25 USELESS THINGS IN A MAN? 20 NAILS, 2 NIPPLES THAT DOESNT MILK. 2 BALLS THAT U CAN NOT PLAY WITH. AND A COCK THAT DOESNT LAY EGG?
169.A lady sat on my LAPTOP, I laid her on my DESKTOP and RAM my HARDWARE in2 her SOFTWARE and after lots of INPUT and OUTPUT finally DOWNLOADED
170. What do u call the penis of: small men:COMPACT DICKS, aliens:LASER DICKS, old men:FLOPPY DICKS young men:HARD DICKS Chinese & Pakis:PIRATED DICKS
171.A hawker is selling sex pills,"1 khaoge to lamba hoga,2 khaoge to khamba hoga,3 khaoge to... rand boli,"abey bhosdike..,chodta hai ki khodta hai!"
172. An English woman interviewing a punjabi woman : "What is ur daily routine?". The punjabi woman replied- "Sara din chulle agge, sari raat lulle agge"
173. Grandson : Do U had sex with Grandma ? Grandad: Only oral sex. Grandson: What's dat? Grandad : I shout at her FucK U and she shouts back "FucK u too"
174.4 miracles of a woman: Gettin wet without takin a shower, Bleedin without being hurt, Giving milk without eating grass, and Making Boneless flesh Hard .
175.OLD LADY:i want birth control pills DOC:what good is it 4 u OLD LADY:it helps me sleep better DOC:how OLD LADY:i just put them in my grandaughters orange juice
176. Q: How is a condom like a Kodak print? A: They both capture that special moment
177.PANTIES ARE DEFINATELY NOT THE BEST THING ON EARTH BUT ARE VERY CLOSE TO BEST THING ON EARTH.
178.WHAT MEN DO ABT SEX? AT AGE 20= THRICE WEEKLY ATAGE 30= TRIES WEEKLY AT 40=TRIES WEAKLY AT 50=TRIES AND TRIES AT 60 TRIES AND CRIES AT 70=TRIES AND DIES!
179.What is the defination of a gynac? A.He is the only fool on earth who looks for problems in places where most people find pleasure
180.DEAR GOOD NIGHT.BAND KAR DE LIGHT, LUND KAR TIGHT, DAL DE UNDER SLIGHT CHUT SE KAR THODI FIGHT, NIKLEGA JAB WHITE WHITE, U WILL FEEL ALRIGHT. SWEET DREAMS.
181. WHAT IS KISS? KISS IS AN INQUIRY IN THE 1ST FLOOR , ABOUT VACANCY IN THE GR.FLOOR.
182. ADVANTAGES OF BREAST MILK:A)NO NEED 2 BOIL B)CAT CAN'T STEAL IT C)AVAILABLE IN ATTRACTIVE CONTAINERS D) POPULAR IN ALL AGE GROUPS E) EK PE EK FREE
183.Son:Mom w do babies com from? Mom:when daddy puts his penis in mom's vagina. Son:but that day u had daddy's penis in ur mouth Mom:thats for getng jwelery
184.1day,a clerk saw her boss's pants unzip!She ask"Boss!Ur garage doors open!"Boss:"do u c my FERRARI?" CLERK:"No! i c a SMALL scooter wit 2 punctured tyres."
185. HUSBAND:Pls Aaj karne Do.Mai Tumhein Kapde La Dunga WIFE:"No" Zevar La Dunga "No" Ghar Le Dunga "No" BETA BOLA: Abu Meri Gand Marlo aur CYCLE DILADO
186.I Wanna thank god 4 puttin u on EARTH I wanna thank d SUN 4 bein at ur birth i wanna thank d stars 4 givin u LIFE but mostly ur parents 4 gettin horny dat NIGHT
187.Excited man returns Home & tells Wife"Darlin I got 4 Good Tyres for the price of1.Wife"U stupid man,we don't even hv a Car".Man "do I coment when u buy ur Bras
188.BUSH SHOWING HIS PENIS: THIS IS POWER OF AMERICA, QUEEN SHOWING HER PUSSY: THIS IS BEAUTY OF U.K VAJPAYEE SHOWING HIS ASS: THIS IS PARTITIONOF INDIA & PAKISTAN.
189. Saans aur bahu main hamesha anban kyo ? Kyonki jo ladke ki underwear saans ne 25 saal sambali woh bahu ne 2 minute main utari.
190.jab gabbar singh paida hua to usne apni ma se kya poocha ?????????????????????????? kitne aadmi the?!!!!
191.DRACULA ASKED GOD,"MAY I BE REINCARNATED AS A WHITE ANGEL WITH WINGS & STILL SUCK BLOOD?"GOD SAID "TATHASTU!AND DRACULA BECAME SANITARY PAD!!
192.What do guys usually say after Sex? - I LUV U? Wr@ng! - THAT WAS GREAT? Wr@ng again! - I LUV IT? Wr@ng AGAIN!! The Answer is: oh where r my fuckin clothes.
193. NEVER FUCK A TEL OPERATOR - AFTER 3MTS SHE'LL SAY YOUR TIME OUER. N'VR FUCK A NURSE SHE'LL SAY NEXT PLS. BUT FUCK A TEACHER SHE'LL SAY REPEAT 5 TIMES!
194.LABOR LAW: Does penis deserve overtime & hazard pay? YES, because it works in deep, damp, hot and smelly tunnels, often head down and mostly in night shift!
195.WHY IS GOLF CALLED A WRONG GAME?BECAUSE U HOLD A STICK AND PUT THE BALLS IN THE HOLE INSTEAD OF HOLDING THE BALLS AND PUTTING THE STICK IN THE HOLE.
196. A bra falls on a doodhwala entering a building. He looks up and shouts.... "Oh Behenji, aapke doodh ka dhakkan gir gaya!
197. HOW TO USE PREPAID SEX: 1.Scratch d protective panty 2.Press d nipple 3.Enter d penis 4.A voice will confirm if your Éntry is Successful. AAH!-OOH!. SUCKSEXFULL
198.NIPPLE NIPPLE DONT BE FAR. CAN I PRESS U LITTLE HARD. UP ABOVE THE CHEST SO HIGH. ALWAYS MILKY NEVER DRY LET ME SUCK YOU DONT FEEL SHY IN THE BRA YOU WILL DIE !
199.A sardarni went4 a swim in a BRA & PANTY!The coach said "Ma'am,a 2-piece costume is not allowed here." Sardarni asks "Kaun sa utaroon ?!"
200. 7 qualities of a perfct husband: Brave, Intelligent, Gutsy, Polite, Energetic, Nutty, Industrious n Self-Organized. In short, he must have B.I.G.P.E.N.I.S
201.Why was the 2 piece bikini invented? Ans:2 seperate the HAIRY part from the DAIRY part!
202.Whore - Hi, boy wants to have sex? Man - Ok, only if U do it like my wife does it! Whore - I can do it! So how does she do it?Man: she does it for free!
203.LOVE MAKING IN CRICKET TERMS- Remove the covers. Fiddle with the points. Stretch the fine legs.Takeout short leg.Put in deep gully & start playing the balls.
204.Q:>why r women considered stronger than men? A:>bcoz women carry two mountains on their chest, while men carry only two stones with the help of a crane!!!
205. Why did snowhite complain after a fuck with the seven dwarfs. Because she wanted seven inches one time not one inch seven times..
206.MAN IS BORN THRU A HOLE. AFTER GROWING UP HE SEARCHES FOR 'HOLES'. AFTER HE DIES HE IS BURRIED IN A HOLE. THAT'S WHY MAN HAS A NICKNAME: "FUCKIN' ASS'HOLE".
207.LITTLE GIRL: Mommy, i just found out that our neighbor's son has a penis like a peanut! MOM: You mean it's small? GIRL:No,it's salty!
208.A NURSE WALKIN THRU THE HOSP.WITH 1 BOOB HANGING OUT OF UNIFORM. THE SR. DOC CAUGHT HER. SHE SAID-THESE WARD BOYS NEVER PUT BACK ANYTHING IN PLACE AFTER USING
209. NEWS FLASH India's cricket team has a new sponsor: "stayfree sanitary napkins". The BCCI thought it appropriate since the team is going thru a bad period
210.A stockbroker catches his wife in bed with another man..& he says to her,"Whats going on??"..She says believe it or not, honey..I've gone PUBLIC...
211.tell me.is it going in?..yeah ..is it hurting?.. ooh yeah ouch its hurting..ok i will put it slowly. still hurting.. aah yeah..then lets try the other shoe sir
212.Remember: If u need a FUCK, u can always count on me, bcoz F.U.C.K stands for FRIEND U CAN KEEP. Fuck 4ever,n promise me dat we FUCK till eternity!
213. how did gabbar singh avoid having kids???after screwing, he would tell his wife-'ab goli khaa'
214.Who had the worst role in SHOLAY? THAKUR's servant, since THAKUR was not able to wash his ass
215.A Husband Was Asked:Do you talk to your wife after sex? His Answer: Depends, If I Can find a Phone.
216. An executive returns home after having DOGGY STYLE sex with his sexy secretary. His wife asks: Where have u been? He replies: ln my office working like a DOG!
217.Definition of a BACHELOR - A man who has missed the opportunity of makin some woman miserable.
218.Wife pointing at a couple next door sayz to her husband "look at him he kisses her all the time, why can't u do that". Husband "I tried but she slapped me".
219.A LADY ENTERED THE Dr'S CABIN & SAID,I HAVE A VIBRATOR STUCK UP MY VAGINA. Dr: OK U LIE DOWN & I'LL TRY TO GET'T OUT. LADY: OH NO JUST CHANGE THE BATTERIES.
220. A Cop catches a girl on charge of prostitution. Girl to cop :I'm SAFE SEX EDUCATOR, I'm not selling sex ! I'm selling condoms, with free demonstration!!
221.Girlfriends are appetizers. Tastes good at any time. Mistresses are PIZZAS. Hot & spicy.Eaten frequently. WIFES are CURD RICE. Eaten when there"s nothin!!+<01>
222. Early to bed early to rise, and ur girl will go out with additional guys.
223.A man walked into a ladies toilet. A lady inside got furious & shouted "This is exclusively for women" The man unzips his pants & says "This too!"
224.HOW 2 SATISFY A WOMAN: caress, excite,cuddle, fascinate,spoil, kiss,rub,tease, pamper,console, adore,worship, respect & love. HOW 2 SATISFY A MAN: a blow job
225.ant & elephant share a nite of romance. next morn. ant wakes up & the elephant is dead. damn, says d ant, 1 nite of pasion & i spnd rest of life diggin a grave!
226.She took off his pants gently and wispered:Make me feel like a woman... He smiled, threw the pants at her and said: Go wash it.
227.Ye desh hai veer jvano ka,yahan mota lund kisano ka!Jab raat k 12 bajte hai hum muth mara karte hai,ehsan kisi ka nahi lete hatho se guzara karte hai
228.Aisi apni girl friend ho, 5'5" jiski height ho, weight me thodi light ho, bable uske right ho, umer me farak slight ho, magar CHODNE me hamesha TIGHT HO!
229. "Aashiq ka janaja kabar mein pada hai... Ashiq ka janaja kabar mein pada hai... Haddiyaan gal gayi lund abhi bhi khada Pada hai!"
230.IS JAHAN ME AAE HO, TO KUCH AAISA KAR JAAO KADARDAN. JISS GALI SE GUZRO, AAWAZ AAE ABBAJAAN ABBAJAAN.
231.Palat ke dekh jalim, tamanna hum bhi rakhte hai,husn tum rakhti ho to jawani hum bhi rakhte hai gehrai tum rakhti ho to lambai hum bhi rakhte hai
232.khuda ki kasam main tumhara nahin hoon,main ek nadi hoon kinara nahin hoon,takti hoo kyon tum mujhe muskura ke,main shadi shuda hoon kunwara nahin hoon
233.Boy:?Khoon se likhta hoon, syhayee na samjho,Pyar karta hoon tumse, bhai na samjho
Girl: Khoon se likhte ho, syhayee nahin mili kya,Pyar mujse karte ho, koi aur nahin mili kya?,Boy:?Syhaheyan to bahut hai par khoon jaisi kahan,Ladkiyan to bahut hai par tum jaisi kahan
234.Voh Sadak Ke Us Paar Thi,,Hum Sadak Ke Is Paar The ,,Kuch Hum Aage Badhe, Kuch Voh Aage Badhi Hum ,,Kuch Aur Aage Badhe, Voh Bhi Kuch Aur Aage Badhi ,,Hum Aur Bhi Aage Badhe, Voh Bhi Aur Aage Badhi ,,Ab Hum Sadak Ke Us Paar Hein, ,Aur Voh Sadak Ke Is Paar Hein,,
235.Tere leno ko meri jaan,banaya kamra alishaan.Teri gaand hain mast bawandar,jinme ghuse ga lund commander, Chootad bajwa le meri jaan, banaya kamra alishaan!!!!
236. Jise dil diya vo delhi chali gayi,jisse pyar kiya vo italy chali gayi,dil ne kaha khudkushi karle zalim,bijli ko hath lagaya to bijli chali gayi!
237. Prabhu te to khari kari, be pag vache bari kari, uppar mukya doodhna be haanda, e haanda joine halva lagya sahoonaa daandaa ! ! !
238.aye gaandu kar tu khudko itna buland, ki jab qayamat par tum khade ho tab khuda tumse yeh pooche, tumhe kaunsi apsara ki gand hai pasand!!!!
239.A CHACHA CHACHI DONO LAFANGE BISTER PE LETE DONO NANGE , CHACHI KO LAGI THAND , CHACHA NE NIKALA LUND CHACHI BOLI YE KYA , CHACHA BOLA STAIN GUN
240.GARIB AUR BALL KO SABHI DABATE HAI * GAnd AUR BOMB KAHI BHI FAT SAKTE HAI * PANI AUR LUNND APNI JAGAH KHUD BANATE HAI * KISMAT AUR BRA KABHI BHI KHUL SAKTI HAI.
245.SHARAB EK BIMARI HAI,JO IS SAMAAJ KO BARBAAD KAR RAHI HAI.AAO KASAM KHAYEN KI ISE PEE PEE KAR KHATAM KAR DENGE.!
246.Khud Ko Kar Buland Itna Ki Himalay Ki Choti Pe Ja Pahunche, Aur Khuda Tujse Khud Puche, Bata Chutiye, Ab Uteraga Kaise?
247.Aankhon mein vahi jaam liye, honthon pe vahi muskan liye, kahan chali ho JAANEMAN, SEENE pe dairy-farm liye
248. Tired Guju comes home his lugai on bed Guju asks kuch sabzi roti pakai hai ya yuhi chut fellai hai. -Wife kuch atta chawal laye ho ya sirf land uthake ayeho??
249.Boy :kaash mein teri chaddi hota to teri jannat se chipka hota. Girl : saley soch le, main chuda rahi hti aur tu kone mein pada hota!
250.Woman visiting dentist, gets into her chair,lowers her panties,lifts her legs. Dentist: I'm no gynac. Woman: I know, I want you to pull out my husband's teeth.
251.woh raat diwali vali thi,woh piya se chudne vali thi,koi duja aake chod gaya,land ko lehnge se poch gaya,uski ma ne kiya virodh,tu kaise chudi bina nirodh .
252.Bevafa tum ho to wafadar hum bhi nahi, besharam tum ho to sharmdar ham bhi nahi, pyar ke is mod par ake kehte ho shadishudha tum ho to kuware ham bhi nahi.
253..Rich man to a very poor man: How come you have got such a BIG PENIS ? Poor man : Because when I was a little boy I had NO other TOY to PLAY with !
254.A lady tells her man, I demand good manners in bed just like at the dinner table. The man climbs in2 bed slowly,smiles & says"Honey would u pass the vagina pls"
255.Touch it gently ., put your finger inside , if hole is big ,put three fingers , rub it up and down gently .. thats the right way of washing the glass !!
256.2Boy goes 4 blood test.Nurse takes de sample & cant find cotton so sucks his finger ! Boy is so happy he asks,"Can I get a urine test done?"
257.The average depth of the female vagina is 16cm. The average length of an erect penis is 12cm. So in Bombay there is still about 812975km of unused pussy.Wow
258.A NEWLY WEDDED COUPLE GOES FOR HONEYMOON
FOR TWO WEEKS BUT RETURNS AFTER ONE WEEK, ON ASKING HE REPLIES, A "WHOLE WEEK" IS ENOUGH TO MAKE THE "HOLE WEAK"!
259.Tv journalist asked laloo, why do you have 9 children" he replied "kyonki hum rubber se jyada raabri ko use kiya hoon na.
260.Eve: "Adam, do u love me?" Adam: "No I don't!" Eve: (crying) "Then, why did you fuck me?" Adam: "Hello! As if i had no other choices!"
261.Girl talk:which r the 5 mithais (sweets) u will find under a man's underwear? 2 ladoos, 1 cream roll, jalli hui seviyan & lots of kheer.
262.if u have 2 eggs between ur legs , u r a man , but if u have 4 eggs between ur legs , dont think u r super man , there is some one fucking u
263. When does the skin meets skin, hair meets hair and the balls disappear?.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . DIRTY MIND! Whenever you blink your eyes :
264.BUILDER"S SON: PAPA PAPA MUJHE BAHEN CHHAIYE . BUILDER : BETA USME TO 9 MAHINE LAGENGE SON: TO DOCHAR AADMI OR LAGADO
265.SASARIYAMA GAITI NE RAT AAKHI RAHITI. BAND KARI BATI NE MANE KARI CHATI. NADI NEFA KHOLYA NE NAGDADA DOLYA KISS AVI KIDHI KE KOKAKOLA PIDHI. BOL EVA DABYA K TENIS RAMVA LAGYA.HUTO RAHI BORI ME HATHE KARI PORI. METO RAD PADI NE CHUT MARI FADI PACH PACH BOLE NE MANDU MARU DOLE LAKDA JEVO GHALYO NE LOCHA JEVO KADHIYO RAT AAKHI JAGADI NE GAGRI MARI BAGADI PACHI TONALIYA UAPER NALIYU NE CHODE AAKHU FALIYU
266.BOY: 2 HINCH KI GUFA 5 MINUTE KA MAJA, AKHKHA GUS GAYA TO 9 MAHINE KI SAZA GIRL: A LAND E NADAN, TUNE KAHA DEKHA CHUTO KA MEDAN, JO AAYA AKADKE WO GAYA LABDKE
267.VARTA RE VARTA BABA GAND MARTA EK CHHOKRI CHODANI, GAND PASE GHAVANI GAND FATI AADI CHHOKRI E RAAD PADI, ARARARA MADI, LODO CHHE KE KUHADI!!!!
268.DIFFERENT TYPE OF SEX: ENGLISH- OH YES, OH YESSS! AMERICAN - YEAH BABY, YEAAAAAH, INDIAN-OoooEeee MAAAAA! PAKISTAN- DHIRE BHIYA JAN MUMMY JAG JAYEGI
269.BSNL PRESENT GUJARATI GIT MALA ODHNI ODHU ODHU NE UDI JAY TUTO NAGI KEHVAY TARA BOBLA DEKHAY TARO BHOSDO CHODAY MARA LODDA NE KAI KAI THAI
270.TWO TWINS TALKING INSIDE MOTHERS WOMB WHEN A PENIS ENTER,TWIN ONESAY"S: ARE YE TO PAPA HAI, TWIN SAY"S:ABE GADHE YE TO BAJU WALE UNCLE HAI, PAPA RAINCOAT NAHI PAHENTE....!
271.WIFE:Suno ji, kutto ko kaise pata chalta hai ki kuttiya ka mann kar raha hai sex karne ka?? Husband:Soongh ke..Wife:To tumhe kya zukam he
272.BABO: mari mummy ne jaadu avde che, mumy PAPA ni PP haath ma pakde to PP moti thai jai. pachi mumy ghagro unchki PP upar besi ne oye ma bole TO aakhi PP gayab.
273.Sardar brings roses 4 wife, biwi khush hui aur kapde utaar ke late gayi aur apni taange failali. Sardar : kamini, ghar me phool-daan nahi hai kya?!
274.Arz hai... Teer kya chalati ho dhaar to talvar me hai, teer kya chalati ho dhaar to talvar me hai. Duppatte se kya chupati ho, maal to salvar me hai.
275.Kudrat tari karigari,be pag vache bari kari,aju baju fulwari kari,tema pachhi pichkari kari,etlu to thik pan duniya akhi ne ani divani kari
276.11 girls wants 11 bananas so asked banana seller. Seller ne kaha main darjan hi bechta hoon. Ek ladki ne kaha "lele yaar, ek khalenge".
277.Sardar ki jaang jal gayi. Dr. ne Burnol aur Viagara likh ke diya.Sardar bola burnol to samjha par viagra kyo? Dr: Usse lungi unchi rahegi
278.Bhut ko chudel se pyar ho gaya bola chalna dono chodte hai. Chudel - chalo. Bhut - lekin kaha ? Chudel - Bhoshdike kahi bhi chod le na hame kaun dekhnewala hai?
279.Husband on SUHAGRAAT: Main teri zulfon mein khoya hoon,teri ankhon mein dooba hoon,tere jhumke pe atka hoon!..Wife: "Toh phir neeche kya mohallewale ayenge?".
280.Bhigi bhosh teri pyasa lund mera. Lage rand sa muje tan tera. Kabhi mere sath koi raat gujar. Tuje subha tak me padau rad HOY BAPA................... Hoy
281.Bus me bhid thi.MAN:Madam aapke SANTRE dab rahe hai thoda pichhe rahiye. MADAM:Dabne do,SANTRE mere hai aapko kya? MAN:Lekin JUICE mera nikal rha hai uska kya
282.A sardar and a girl were having sex suddenly sardar asks- Do u have AIDS?
Girl: No.
Sardar: Thank god, i dont want to get that again..!
283.GALIB CHUTIA DAB KAR MAR GAYA DEEWAR KE NICHE, AAH MAHUTARMA HAM TO MARANGE TERI SALWAR KE NICHE!!!
284.Guy:Can I touch ur software? Girl:First show me ur hardware. Guy:Come sit down on my joystick. Girl:My disk is not protected,u'll infect me with virus.
285.SUNDAY MENU: CHUTPAAK PURI,VAGHARELA GOTYA,AAKHA LODA NU SHAAK,SURTI JHAAT NO SAMBHAR!DESERT : EK PLATE GU MALAI MAARKE.THALI NA FAKTA RS.25/-! SP.INTRO.OFFER!
286.Man was sobbing in a Bar. His friend asked why? He said my wife is making me pay Rs 00 for every Fuck ! Friend said u r lucky she charges others Rs2500!
287.guy says 2+2is4, 4+5is9 i can get into urs but u cant get into mine. GIRL replies 2+2is4, 4+5is9 i can know the length of urs but u cant know the depth of mine
289. A husband said to his wife if u r in mood of sex just shake my dick twice i'll understand. Wife asked if i m not then. Husband replied then shake it 50 60 times
290.A little boy and a girl in a bathtub having a bath.Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy."Can I touch it?No way-you already broke yours!:-)
291.Teacher:Why did you bring your cat to school? Stu:Coz I pity my cat. Teacher:WHY? Stu:Coz I heard my sister's boyfriend say to her"TONITE I WILL EAT YOUR PUSSY"
292. Kid: how baby comes into the world? Dad: in the moonlight, an angel comes to earth and leaves a kid in mom's lap. kid: you mean fucking is useless!!!
293. Boy:Can I kiss U? Girl:Where On vertical or horizontal lips? Boy:Wot? Girl: I mean on upper or lower lips? Boy: I didnt get u? Girl: Banchod, hontpe ya chut pe
294. Sex is a sensation caused by temptation, a man puts his dicktation in a womens ventilation to satisfy frustration got my conversation or need a demonstration?"
295.How do you teach a girl maths ? Add a bed, substract her clothes, divide her legs, enter your sqaure root, leave your solution and hope she doesn't multiply !
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